Fight Like Siblings

Posted on 31 Jan 2019 @ 5:39am by Lieutenant Commander Rafe Cassidy (Jan 2389 - TRNSFR After Gorn War)

Mission: Ka Hakaka Maikaʻi - The Good Fight
Location: Cassidy's Quarters, Deck 3
Timeline: Post-Briefing

He wasn't going to check again.

It felt like aeons had passed since the battle had started, but Cassidy knew it had barely been a day. That wasn't enough time to assume a meaningful update of manifests and reports. He might have gone through one of the hardest fights of his life, but the rest of the galaxy had blinked and shrugged and continued its inexorable drag across the stars and universe. Checking and re-checking was like picking at a scab, and he didn't want to bleed any more.

So he chose a different kind of poison, and put in a call to his brother.

His console's screen filtered through the spinning Federation logo to the spin of Kessik Mining Corporation's logo once he was connected. That lasted a good while longer than he'd have liked before the display changed again to show him the husky form of his elder brother.

"Rafe! Not like you to call. Give me a second." And like that, Gus had got up and all Rafe had was a view of his big brother's desk chair and the metal wall behind him decorated with flickering pictures of his family. Immediate family, of course. Wife and children. Parents. Nothing of the brothers.

"Sure, I'll just... sit here and wait some more." Rafe ran a hand through his hair, jaw tight.

It took a minute before Gus was back in front of the screen. "Sorry. Caffeine update."

"Why wouldn't you want to take up time of our infrequent calls to get a hot drink, after all."

Gus scowled. "You're the one who doesn't call much."

"Technically, you don't call me, either."

"You're Starfleet. You work shifts I can't keep track of and can be dragged away at any moment, night or day. How do I know when I'm interrupting? I barely know where you are. You'd been off the Sydney a week before I found out."

Rafe squinted at the wall and hated that Gus was right. "It was a pretty sudden transfer."

"I didn't need you to send me War and Peace, but would two lines to let me know you were staying in the war zone kill you? Before it killed you?"

"I'm fine -"

"I don't worry about that," Gus grumbled. "I worry that some day it'll turn out you've been dead for a month and nobody bothered to tell me."

On some level, Rafe knew that Gus could make far more effort to keep them in touch. When Rafe had lived in Vancouver, when he'd gone to the Academy, when he'd spent years doing reliable work on Beta Antares, it had been the same. Contact on Rafe's terms, while Gus complained that it wasn't enough and did nothing to change it. Yet he found his shoulders slumping and his gut twisting as he said, "Sorry."

And Gus, of course, waved a hand like he was magnanimous. "Just so long as I hear from you sometime. I'd say you should take time off and come see the family while you're in the region."

"Not exactly time for shore leave, brother."

"That's why I didn't say it. We're all fine, by the way."

Rafe braced himself. No, he hadn't asked after the wellbeing of Gus Cassidy and his family, living near the border during a time of Gorn invasion. But then, Gus hadn't asked if Rafe was okay, when the tiniest dose of bad luck over the last fortnight could have meant they'd never have this conversation. So instead he said, "You're not getting out?"

"This is home, remember?" said Gus, because of course he wouldn't miss an opportunity to remind Rafe he'd 'abandoned' the family business. "I'm not being run out of here until the Gorn hold a gun to my head. Besides, isn't it your job to make sure it doesn't get that bad?"

"Sure, but Gorn aren't exactly amenable to -"

"Or is Starfleet still tip-toeing around Canterra, letting the Gorn run riot over Federation territory and civilians, and absolutely toothless?"

Rafe had to bite his tongue to stop his retort. He could hardly rant about an upcoming Canterra counter-strike on this channel to a civilian on the grounds of his big brother being really mean. "Can you take that up with an Admiral? I just drive a ship."

"Classic Rafe. If it was going really well you'd be the preening officer, Captain Federation, but so long as Starfleet's on the back foot you like to play the idiot. I mean, you usually like to play the idiot -"

"Gus!"

Gus did stop, and for a split second Rafe thought he saw guilt on his brother's face. Then he shrugged. "I'm just joshing, kiddo. Starfleet drilled the sense of humour out of you?"

"I'm sorry," said Rafe, and hated himself for saying it. He rubbed his temples. "I only called to let you know I'm okay. It's a bit rough out here, and it's going to get rougher."

"I bet," said Gus, but he was quieter now. He wouldn't apologise, but he had to know he'd gone too far. "You better make sure Starfleet don't make too many meatheaded choices that make you wind up a plaque, you hear me?"

Like trying to sacrifice our entire ship for the sake of bad intel? That wouldn't help anything. "I've got a good ship. Good team. We're going to be okay, Gus, don't you worry." Rafe lowered his hand. "I get it's got to be hard for the families, and for you, but we really are making a difference out here."

"I don't mean to be difficult," said Gus Cassidy, Professional Maker of Difficulty who ran a mining corporation for fun, "but I really don't see it much. A lot of people out here don't see it much."

"Yeah, I hear that." Rafe looked his brother in the eye. "And I hear some folks are taking things into their own hands."

Gus' eyes narrowed. "You're not subtle, kiddo."

"I wasn't trying -"

"Is this why you've called me? Your Captain knows you're a local boy and that some locals have been doing Starfleet's job for them fighting the Gorn, so he sends you to find out if your own flesh and blood's involved? That's cold -"

"We haven't talked in so long," Rafe babbled, "so I wanted to know how things were going -"

Gus wasn't a forgiving man at the best of times, and the fact Rafe, for all his indignation, wasn't actually being entirely truthful didn't help. "It's going. Work carries on. The family's fine. They send their best, by the way, and I'll lie and tell them you did the same."

"Gus -"

"Is that all, Starfleet boy? You want to accuse me of smuggling bombs into Gorn space next?"

"Come on -"

"Try to not die," Gus said gruffly, and sat up. "Guess I'll find out if you're alive in a week by checking the news instead of my inbox."

"Gus!"

But it was too late; his brother had ended the call, and all Rafe had before him was the static, apologetic screen of the Federation communication services. Rafe Cassidy was not an angry man, but still he slammed his fist down on the desk enough to hurt. Which meant he instantly regretted it.

It was all bad enough already today. So he might as well check the lists. Again.

For many people, the worst thing about the list of personnel and civilians who had been in the Canterra Sector at the time of the Gorn attack was that it was incomplete. Nobody could be sure who'd been there at the time, and not everyone would be in a position to report that they were alive, and well, and fine. The only mercy for Rafe in all of this was that Starfleet kept track of its personnel. They knew exactly who had been in Canterra. And they knew exactly who hadn't come out.

That last list did change quite a bit, but that was usually as the status of missing officers was updated with confirmation of their death. So Cassidy wasn't sure what he wanted to find as he scrolled through the endless list of names.

After all, if it was good news, he'd hear, wouldn't he? He'd be told - perhaps, if she was in a condition to tell him - if she wanted to - but nobody would think to tell him so soon if the news was bad -

So it was with bitter resignation that he stopped scrolling, and buried his head in his hands as he saw the name on the list was still there, and the status hadn't changed.

Eva Grahams, Lieutenant - MIA

That wasn't news. That didn't change the tension in his gut, the knot that had been there since he'd had word on the Sydney of what had gone down on Canterra, of the outbreak of hostilities. The news that had driven him to ask, no, demand a transfer when he'd heard the Sydney was being moved away from the war front.

And it was all still so useless when it came to the things he really cared about. Even, though he hated to admit it, his brother.

Gus. Bitter Gus, who'd stayed behind when their parents had died and Rafe had run to their uncle on Earth. Who'd made a life here that was now threatened by the war, who had to use such bluster and posturing to pretend he was still the responsible big brother to a sibling who'd drifted so far away.

Gus, who had been so indignant when he thought he'd been accused of affiliation with the Ekdikos. Gus, who had been so unconvincing that Rafe no longer feared his brother had gone and done something stupid.

He pretty much knew it.